For those of you who’ve never heard of this book, you can rot and die under the rock you are living under for all I care. Seriously? You haven’t??? You live such a sad, sad life. 
For those of you who’ve heard of the book but haven’t been bothered to read it, knock yourself on the head with the rock and READ IT NOW! For those of you who’ve heard of the book and read it, you can go back to living under a rock. No one needs you. >D Hee hee no lah, just joking 
(oh and by the way, if you haven’t read it, you probably wouldn’t want to and shouldn’t read this, because I sort of go on and on ranting and dropping spoilers like nobody’s business. Sorry. 
)
The first book (The Hunger Games–uh…what did you expect? ) was AWESOME. But I think all my teachers hate me now, because I spent the entire day at school ignoring them, happily in my own hungry world. Which is actually quite literally true, because I spent my entire recess reading it instead of eating, so I had to eat my packed recess for lunch. It isn’t the kind of book that spends 400 pages being boring before getting to the interesting part. It took about one word to get me hooked instantly. I was like AHHH DON’T DIE!!!!!!!! NOOO!!!!! OMG WHAAAT?!?!?! AHHHH DON’T DIE!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!!!! OMG WHAAAT!?!?! (Uh, you get my point right) right from page one of the book. I think if anyone was looking at me while I was reading the book, I would have looked like someone with serious spasms. The plot was just SOOO GOOD and it makes me think why books like Moby Dick are classics when things like the Hunger Games aren’t. I mean seriously, would you rather read an exciting, nail-biting, action-packed story about a corrupted future government and a gory fight to the death with a love triangle embroiled right into the action, OR one thousand pages about a whale with a weird name? Oh no, DIFFICULT decision here!
The second book (Catching Fire) didn’t spark off as fast as the first book, and the first part was pretty slow-moving and full of pointless romance because I don’t like Gale and I think he’s pointless, and also full of other pointless and repetitive things like trying to make Katniss pretty. Ok, so Katniss has leg hair. So what??? Practically everyone’s trying to be her boyfriend, which probably says something good about HAVING leg hair. Ok I have to admit that I’m being a little hypocritic because I was a little grossed out in the first book by all the leg hair details. Which is also another reason why Suzanne Collins should STOP WITH THE LEG HAIR THING already. BUT THEN! It started to get EXCITING! And I mean REALLY exciting! I was reading in the toilet and poo-ing (sorry. this is probably more disgusting than leg hair) when I hit the HYPER-EXCITING MIDDLE PART and I was trapped on top of the toilet bowl for the next two hours because I was in a Hunger Games induced coma and I couldn’t spare my brain/hand or tear my eyes off the page long enough to wipe my butt and get it off the toilet bowl and out of the toilet. I was in borderline hysteria when Katniss and Peeta were back in the arena with the Tick Tock stuff. No! Not the Ke$ha thing yucks! When Katniss was brought off in the hovercraft thing, I was still HUH?! NOO!!!! WHAT’S HAPPENING???? SHE-SHE-THEY-THEY BETRAYED HER!!!!!!! PEETA!!!! A few hours after the book, my heart was still beating like some crazy machine gun, and when my mom opened the door I jumped two feet into the air and almost fainted because I thought it was President Snow come to get mehhh with his deadly, smelly rose. The second half of the book definitely made up for the first half. At the end, when Katniss was brought off in this hovercraft thing, I was still HUH?! NOO!!!! WHAT’S HAPPENING???? SHE-SHE-THEY-THEY BETRAYED HER!!!!!!!
I couldn’t wait to get the third book (Mockingjay). I practically sold my soul to pry the third book from my friend and later chased someone else around the class just to snatch it back after she stole it and I think I looked like some crazed maniac that should be kept under lock and a key that’s been thrown away. It was just as fast-paced an exciting as always, but ten times as gory and disgusting and gruesome. Kind of like Haw Par Villa. I mean, the other books were ALSO gory and disgusting and bloody and revolting, they were gory and disgusting and bloody and revolting in HEALTHY amounts. The torture stuff in book three is NOT healthy. Peeta….
SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT. The Third Book was pretty depressing. Gale becomes this violent freak who devises traps to kill poor people and Peeta has been tortured out of recognition. He now calls Katniss a stupid mutt and tries to strangle her. And when the rebels finally overthrow the corrupt Capitol and abolish the hunger games, guess what? District 13 decides on a ‘revenge method’- a NEW Hunger Games, and the District 13 boss who’s supposed to be bring good and peace and whatever to the people just shows her true colours as an evil dictactor that should’ve married President Snow because they are a perfect match. Practically everyone dies in this third book. Like Finnick. Now you see REAL evidence for how twisted Suzanne Collins is. Seriously? Kill off FINNICK??!?! FINNICK?!?!? And the moment I comfort myself and say, “well, at least Prim survived,” the next second, she becomes a flaming human torch and dies.
But then later things get better because Katniss kills Coin and ditches Gale and lives happily ever after with the Boy with the Bread. If Katniss chose Gale, I would have stormed all the way to Suzanne Collin’s house and murdered her in the most gruesome way possible and given her some first hand experience she can use to write more gruesome stories in her afterlife.
Anyway, I’m not saying I’m unhappy about Peeta getting Katniss, because Gale would be ten thousand times worse, but too bad Finnick already had Annie. (And also, too bad he died. SUZANNE COLLINS, WHYYY???) But I guess getting THREE guys madly in love with a cold, murderous girl with leg hair is just too unrealistic, even for a sci-fi fantasy story.
You’ll LOVE Hunger Games even though it’s pretty violent and gory. If you’re into gruesome stories and torture and bloody things, why aren’t you building an altar and worshipping Suzanne Collins right now?
